10 Steps to a Better St. Paddy’s Day Experience

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If you find yourself sitting at home this St. Patrick’s Day, wondering “What should I do today?” Then here is the list for you. We’ve got a complete breakdown of how you should spend your day, what you should eat, and what clothes to dress in.

  1. Shave your hair into the shape of a clover and color it green.
  2. Speak only in Gaelic. If you don’t speak Gaelic just make Irish sounding words very loudly.
  3. Find a fiddle player and pay him to follow you around as you dance a little jig FOR THE ENTIRE DAY.
  4. Dress entirely in Green: We’ve got the St. Patrick’s t-shirts, hats and ties, you’re on your own for pants.
  5. Green Jello wrestling…
  6. Dress up like a leprechaun, but more like the one from “Leprechaun in the ‘Hood.”
  7. Play the bagpipes for Blue Oyster Cult (I got a fever and the only cure is more bagpipes!)
  8. See how many St. Patrick’s Day Steins you can drink of Green Beer.
  9. Go to a Dropkick Murphys Concert with this shirt, Go to a Flogging Molly concert with this shirt.
  10. Get a box of Lucky Charms and only eat the marshmallows (er “marbits” according to General Mills)!

Well, that is about all you’ll need to make St. Paddy’s ’07 the best ever. But, if you have some suggestions of your own, post them in the comments so others can benefit from your lucky experiences.

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10 Responses to “10 Steps to a Better St. Paddy’s Day Experience”

  1. Potatocrisps Says:

    “1. Shave your hair into the shape of a clover and color it green.”
    Be that chest hair, beard hair, or.. what have you.

  2. Jeff Says:

    Chug 10 shots of espresso and run around the office screaming “They’re Always After me Lucky Charms!”

  3. Josh Says:

    I just curl up all day and sing “It’s not easy being green” by Kermit the Frog

  4. IrishAss Says:

    They ARE always after me lucky charms!

  5. Lothar of the HIll People Says:

    Dear twit who added #10 to the list… please kill yourself. Now. Lucky Charms, although topical, are total crap. The f’in marshmallows get stuck in your teeth and prevent you from enjoying the oaty goodness (which by the way is fortified with 12 vitamins and minerals). If you want to try a real man’s cereal, eat Quisp. Suck it.

  6. Jeff Says:

    Duder, Lothar… regardless of your aversion for the marshmallows, you’ve got to admit that Lucky is a badass:

  7. OG Says:

    Lothar, everyone knows that a real man has a six pack for breakfast, and on St. Pat’s its a six pack and a fifth of whiskey. Suck on that foo

  8. IrishAss Says:

    So long, Smelly!!!

  9. Lothar of the HIll People Says:

    Wow, strong retort… was the short bus early this morning? Clearly the both of you didn’t get enough sleep last night.

    OG – please stop hitting your dog. I implore you. Really. No. Just use your words. (oh yeah, I forgot).

    Jeff – i shall admit nothing. Without his magical shalalee, he’s just a weird little guy in a green velvet suit.

    Love from the hills,
    LotHP

  10. azac69* Says:

    if you don’t have anything green to wear on St. Paddy’s Day, you will be green with envy! Does that count?

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