The following is a message from Zazzle’s partner, the Society of Enormous Sentient Hands.
Good morning! Here at the Society of Enormous Sentient Hands we strive to make the world around us more accommodating to huge, fleshy, semi-dextrous appendages. To that end, we are delighted to announce Zazzle’s participation in the “Hands Are People Too” program, which brings several important changes to Zazzle’s platform.
(1) All products are available in increased proportions. For example, mugs will henceforth accommodate at least four gallons of liquid and be known as “muckets.”
(2) All payment to Zazzle may be made in heavy, robust currencies, such as sheep or grey whales.
(3) In order to accommodate broader, more delicate touches, Zazzle for iOS has been redesigned to additionally run on iPads and Megatrons.
(4) The Zazzle marketplace includes a number of new custom clothing lines, such as tent-sized mittens, grandfather watches, and full-bovine leather gloves.
(10) The Zazzle content moderation policy prohibits content that references Enormous Sentient Feet.
We are confident that these changes will bring Zazzle into an era where hands and people can live hand-in-hand.