For today’s guest post, we invited Ben Roth, Software Engineer, to enthrall us with a mesmerizing tale.
After ten too many months testing vacuum cleaners in a monolithic office park in Southeast Plankhaven, you’ve decided to take a sabbatical in the temperate reaches of southern Italy. Today’s journey takes you on a lazy train ride through the isolated Neapolitan countryside. As you sink into the modestly upholstered seat, swaying gently with the cadence of the compartment, the Mediterranean landscape widens before you. The finest view of your journey begins to glide past your window like an endless motherly parka made of gilded ravioli. Thoughts of dustbag aerodynamics melt from your brain as you release the as-yet most deliberate breath of your thirties.
What better time to bury your face in your telephone? Here at Zazzle, we’ve been diligently stuffing our marketplace of customized cat mugs onto 4-inch screens so that you can make custom products anywhere. I am proud to announce the release of Zazzle for iPhone.
You didn’t do this for the views anyway.
Just as the thimble of sparkling water complements your caffe stretto, Zazzle for iPhone was designed to pair seamlessly with iOS 7. Our full marketplace of customizable apparel, lampshades and more is available to make your own with papercut retina precision.
It cannot, however, customize vacuum cleaners, so you can still have your job for now.
Further, Zazzle for iPhone offers mobile-specific advantages not available on the desktop, such as specialized gifting experiences and more detailed order tracking. Before your package arrives at your doorstep, it lives in your pocket. For seeking out the perfect gift, Zazzle for iPhone is more effective, and smaller, than a real person. These features increase your arsenal of things to thumb through while, for example, standing next to another person (of any size) in an elevator.
As the coach rolls to a bucolic halt and your fellow passengers herd their children toward the train’s exit, you glance up to notice that the sun has set. The window offers no view other than the reflection of your face, weary and bleached, but also dimly elated. Dim, in particular, for it is only slightly illuminated by the glow of your recent purchase of three honey badger lunchboxes and a Captain America luggage tag. And that is what Zazzle for iPhone is all about: your elation. It has been the start of a good trip.
At Zazzle, we work hard to catalyze the blurring of your life’s memories into a single hazy image of a glowing screen. We sincerely hope that Zazzle can earn a place in your procrastination cycle between Twitter and Pinterest. Happy shopping!