Like the swallows return to Capistrano, nerds return to the same argument time and time again: Would Batman or Superman win in fight between the titans of DC Comics lore?
Many comic book writers have tackled the idea in a variety of ways. The upcoming movie Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice will look to settle the debate from yet another point of view. The most important opinion, however, has yet to be solicited.
That opinion is mine.
Sure, you may never have seen my name before, but I mean, you clicked on the link to this post so you must be dying to read every brilliant word I have to say on the matter.
We’ll begin with the first important question we have to ask ourselves.
How Would Batman Win the Fight Against Superman?
Good question, dear reader! Batman is, literally, just a man. The “bat” part of his moniker is an addition that’s supposed to be spooky to criminals. Luckily Batman also has years of training in the martial arts, criminology, forensics, escapology…we better stop here or the list might get too long! Let’s just stipulate that Batman has the skillz to pay the billz (does anyone even say that anymore?!?) The Dark Knight has also honed himself to the peak of physical condition, and is used to fighting the most diabolical, twisted, maniacal gallery of rogues and has always come out victorious.
In other words, Batman is an unstoppable force of will. Do you believe one guy in a red and blue suit would be able to battle against Batman and his will successfully?
Additionally, Batman has a plethora of fun toys at his disposal (wonder where he gets those…*cough* *cough*) that he can use against Supes, including a brilliant brain. All Superman has is his fists. And yes, he may be the Man of Steel, but we saw how his battle with Zod went. All of those Kryptonians were just learning how to use their powers. Superman knew about his from a young age and he still had trouble curtailing the alien insurrection without a bunch of help from Lois Lane, Emil Hamilton, and that General who was played by the guy from Law and Order: SVU.
You think Batman needs the help of General SVU? Negative, Ghostwriter.
Batman has probably studied Superman since the Battle of Metropolis, monitoring his every appearance, watching for fighting patterns, potential weaknesses, etc. Batman is all about preparation, while Superman relies on his power alone. That hubris could be the undoing of the Big Blue Boy Scout, because it will make him overconfident he can beat a mere mortal.
Some of you don’t seem convinced. Well, luckily I majored in Devil’s Advocacy in college! For those of you asking…
How Would Superman Win the Fight Against Batman?
…here is your answer: He’s a super strong alien powerhouse who shoots lasers out of his eyes!
(I, for one, would like to welcome our benevolent overload to Earth. Please don’t fry me with your heat vision.)
Okay, all joking aside, Supes is just learning the full extent of his powers, and the only time we saw him weak was on the Kryptonian ship that mimicked the atmosphere of his home planet. Other than that, Superman bent, busted, and broke most everything he put his hands on in a violent manner.
What can a mortal do that can hope to stand against that?
Batman may have toys, a huge brain, and an abundance of skills, but how is he going to withstand a single punch from the Man of Steel? The Kryptonians took the best Supes had to offer and still came back for more. Batman has none of their genetic advantages, so it might be a two hit fight.
Superman hits Batman. Batman then hits the floor. 10 count, bout called for the fighter in the blue and red trunks bodysuit.
Or Superman can just roast Batman with the aforementioned heat vision. That right there is a game changer, folks. Fists and feet vs an airborne fry cooker.
Or he can drag Batman into the upper atmosphere of the Earth and suffocate the Dark Knight.
Or he can snap Batman’s neck like he did Zod in the first movie…yeah, kinda scary, huh?
So Who Would Win the Battle of Batman v Superman?
Well, on March 25th Zach Snyder will tell us who he thinks would win. As for who I think would come out victorious? My choice is…
Better yet, instead of me telling you who I think would win, why don’t you tell me? Hit me up on Twitter @zazzle and use #TeamBatman if you think the Dark Knight is the winner, or #TeamSuperman if you side with the Man of Steel.